A fascinating question.......

[Harris]

Hello everyone,

Just the other day, I was asked an interesting question on another forum. Below is the question as well as my response. Read and enjoy!

-------

Question: Roy, I'm hoping that you (and anyone else who is willing) could help me out with some advice. I know you have a lot of experience beyond BJJ and a lot of it is in the realm of self-protection, awareness, etc, so I am coming to you with this.

My son is now 14 months old. At some point in the future (at an appropriate age) I am going to want to begin teaching him principles of awareness, how to prevent abductions, what to do if an abduction occurs, what/who/where is 'safe' and what is not, etc. I want to do this tactfully and without making him afraid, but at the same time, as he gets older I would like to teach him how to be aware of his surroundings and keep himself safe.

I was wondering if you could pass along any advice, tips, resources, etc. that you may have, and if you would be willing to share any information that I could pass along to him? I really appreciate any help that you can give me.

Mark



My response:

Mark,

Awareness is a great attribute to develop. It is the father of three children: Timing, Distancing and Sensitivity. Awareness, timing, distancing and sensitivity are the "mature" attributes to develop, unlike the "immature" counterparts of speed, power, explosiveness and endurance.

Developing awareness will put a person years ahead of others who are stuck in the speed, power, explosiveness and endurance mindset! It is THE key to true martial training. It has been THE key element that has helped me become who I am as an instructor and a practitioner!

Here is the main key to awareness that is overlooked by most:

Give yourself an education in the obvious!

What exactly does that mean? Well, start by answering simple questions about yourself that you have probably never considered before. Here are a few questions to get your started:

1. When you scratch your head, which fingers do you use? Your index? Middle finger? Ring finger? Baby finger? A combination of two or three fingers? Or, do you even use your fingers? I ask because some people use their hand or wrist.

2. When you scratch your head, do you use a back and forth type of motion, or do you use an up and down motion? Or, do you use a circular motion?

3. When you scratch your head, do you scratch until the itch is gone, or until your head feels good?

4. When you scratch your head, do you stare at a specific reference point, or do you move your eyes around?

5. When you scratch your head, do you think about the scratching, or do you do it by feel? And, if someone is talking to you, do you continue LISTENING to them, or do you tone it down a notch and HEAR them - while you focus on the scratching? (NOTE: There IS a difference between listening to a person and hearing what they have to say. I have argued this point with several of my female friends who seemed to think that listening and hearing were one in the same.)

6. When you finish scratching your head, do you put your hand back where it was, or do you look at your hand/fingers? Or, do you smell your hand/fingers?

While this series of questions was simple and straight to the point, I doubt most of you reading this post have ever asked yourself these questions.

Why is it important to pay attention to such detail? Because by getting into the habit of paying attention to the smallest of details, you begin the process of becoming more aware of your world - and your habits within the world. If you can get in the habit of doing this with yourself, you can do this with others. And, if you do it with others, you can learn SO MUCH about them by watching their behaviors.

Remember, most things begins in the mind. Thoughts that are dwelled upon usually turn into emotions. Emotions can sometimes (or many times) turn into actions. Actions, over a period of time, will turn into habits. Habits, over a period of time, will turn into behaviors. A habitual series of behaviors becomes a lifestyle, and a lifestyle tells others who you really are!

By watching the behaviors of others, you can learn a lot about others (and yourself). By watching a person's movements, over time, you can tell a lot about what's on their mind and heart. By watching a person's eye movements, listening to their speech patterns, as well as how they treat others, you can learn SO MUCH about what's going on inside their mind and heart.

While there is certainly a lot of wiggle room for interpretation on many of these things, the bottom line is this:

Over time, it becomes increasingly difficult to deceive those who have made it a habit of paying attention to the minutiae of your movement patterns (eyes, shoulders, hands, knees, etc...) and behavior!

Several years ago, I was hired by a "firm" to participate in a series of "interesting" endeavors. I was asked to observe and report the patterns and behaviors of a certain group of people. However, before I was given this job, I was asked to demonstrate my abilities. They put a person in front of me, had me talk with them for five minutes, and then make an assessment of that person. At the end of my encounter, I gave the person who would eventually become my boss an open and honest evaluation of the person who had sat in front of me. I told them about the guy's line of work, his pattern of behavior and speech, as well as his recent "international" experience. They asked me how I knew such information. I told him, "I wouldn't say I KNEW the information. Rather, I just reported what I saw." He hired me on the spot!

So, I've told you all of this to encourage you to begin with the basics of developing awareness. Start with the simple things that you do each and every day of your life. Next, begin to apply what you have observed with close friends or family members. Over the course of three to five years, you will have accumulated enough information to more fully understand awareness.

With regard to teaching awareness to your kid, start with the basics:

1. Remain "alert" whenever you are away from home.
2. Never assume anything.
3. Distance is one of your most important tools.
4. When someone, or a circumstance, makes you feel uncomfortable, leave immediately or call me.
5. Pay special attention to people who watch you or others.
6. Always try to use the "buddy system."

I hope I have given you some food for thought. I will answer any "basic" questions you have about awareness.

Roy Harris

-------

I have written about awareness for years. It is just now that people are waking up to this important area of training. However, it is not a training method for the beginner or the undisciplined. It takes time and concerted effort to develop it into an extremely high level.

So, I am sharing this post with all of you to "inspire" some of you to begin the journey

Good awareness training to you,

Roy

[Dragulya]

Great post Mr. Harris. This is a fascinating topic.

Seamus

[twinkletoes]

I just sent this thread to my students as a "must read".

Mr. Harris, was there someone who mentored you as you began this process of developing your awareness? How did you start upon this road?

~Chris

[John shanks]

Originally Posted by twinkletoes

Mr. Harris, was there someone who mentored you as you began this process of developing your awareness? How did you start upon this road?

~Chris

^^^ I second that question. Maybe a book or two for reading?

[SoBe]

Mr.Harris, I wounder where you would put the concept of "attention" in the awareness frame. As a psychology major, I am for the time beeing doing resarch on attention, and it kind of sticks together.

As I have seen Roy in action, and was very impressed with his skills, I am curius about the awareness, and how to train it

[Harris]

Chris,

My fascination with people, their verbal and non-verbal communications, began as a defense mechanism many years ago. After being hurt (emotionally) by a group of people I considered "friends", I went into what some called, "The Bat Cave." While moaping around in the Bat Cave, I became shy, introverted, and highly observant. I mean, I paid attention to the smallest of details with people.

Because I felt betrayed by this group of friends, I began to watch for signs ("the precursors") that would indicate someone wasn't being upfront with me. In other words, to protect myself from future harm, I began watching people and their habits, as well as listening to their words, so I could give myself a head start on dealing with some of the uncomfortable topics of life. Many years later, I began to read some interesting books on the subject. Here is a short list of books I have read over the past two decades:

1. Emotions Revealed, Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life, First and Second Editions by Paul Ekman

2. Unmasking the Face by Paul Ekman and Wallace V. Friesen **

3. Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage; First, Second and Third Editions by Paul Ekman **

4. The Art of Speed Reading People by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger

5. Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior -- Anytime, Anyplace by Wendy Patrick Mazzarella and Jo-Ellan Dimitrius

6. The Secret Language of Business: How to Read Anyone in 3 Seconds or Less by Kevin Hogan

7. Everything Body Language Book: Decipher signals, see the signs and read people’s emotions—without a word! by Shelly Hagen

8. Body Language 101: The Ultimate Guide to Knowing When People Are Lying, How They Are Feeling, What They Are Thinking, and More by David Lambert

** My two favorite books!

After watching, observing and listening to people for more than two decades, I have noticed several "common denominators" in speech and movements patterns. I have also noticed how certain movements have the potential to predict certain behaviors, thoughts or expressions. Here's a very simple example:

When I teach seminars, I can usually tell when a person has a question formulating in their mind. I am sure some of you have seen me when I will look at a person and ask, "You have a question?", before they raised their hand or expressed what was going on inside of their grey matter.

Later on in my experience, I began search out the nooks and crannies of the topic by delving deeper into the topic of awareness. I paid attention to the smallest of detail, as well as "observed" and "memorized" the patterns I saw.

An interesting habit that I have had for decades is my habit of observing the smallest of details. I have done this with the following subjects:

1. People, their habits of speech, daily living and movement patterns.
2. Mathematics.
3. Spanish.
4. Basketball.
5. Christianity (the phenomenal and the not-so-phenomenal stuff).
6. Music.
7. Golf.
8. Billiards.
9. Life in general.

Finally, I began to look at the "big picture" and develop the higher levels of awareness!

-------

Sobe,

I believe that "attention" or "focus" is both a part of awareness, but it is a very low level of awareness development. Allow me to explain:

"Being aware" involves focusing one's attention on something for an extended period of time. The purpose for this extended period of focus ("attention") is four-fold:

1. To see if a person can gain a different perspective.
2. To understand the subject more thoroughly.
3. To develop a more intimate knowledge of the subject.
4. To see if a person can discover something new.

While attention to detail (focus) is an important part of becoming aware of one topic / thing, true awareness is the ability to remain aware to several things / people / circumstances simultaneously. In other words, true awareness involves "blurring one's senses" for the express purpose of remaining aware to two or more things / people / circumstances simultaneously.

For example, if I were forced to fight three guys at the same time, I would NOT focus my attention on any one thing / person / movement / circumstance. Rather, I would allow my senses (vision, hearing, etc...) "to expand" so that I could remain aware of all three assailants (their thoughts and actions) simultaneously. This is not an easy thing to do. It would take a considerable amount of training to be able to consistently and effectively deal with three assailants simultaneously. It is not impossible, but the training required to accomplish this is not something a beginning level student could do - partly because of their INABILITY to NOT focus.

So, while attention IS a part of the process of becoming aware of one thing, it is a lower level of awareness development. The higher levels of awareness development DO NOT involve involve concentrated efforts of attention. Rather, they involve allowing one's senses to expand so that the awareness of several things / persons / movements / circumstances can occur simultaneously.

Does that make sense?

-------

Guys, below is a test of your current level of awareness to the most important person in your life. Are you ready? Here we go:

1. What is your wife's favorite color?
2. What is your wife's favorite kind of music?
3. What is your wife's favorite song?
4. What is your wife's favorite food?
5. What is your wife's favorite drink?
6. What is your wife's favorite dessert?
7. What is your wife's favorite restaurant?
8. What is your wife's favorite type of movie?
9. What is your wife's all time favorite movie?
10. What is your wife's favorite flower? Does she like flowers?
11. What is your wife's favorite animal? Does she like animals?
12. What is your wife's favorite activity / hobby?
13. What is your wife's favorite brand of shoes?
14. At what stores does your wife frequently shop (for fun)?
15. What size clothes (blouse, skirt, belt and shoes) does your wife wear?
16. What is your wife's favorite perfume?
17. What is your wife's dream vacation?
18. What habit of yours drives your wife bonkers?
19. On a scale of 1 to 10, what number would your wife give your current relationship? If her choice of number was less than 10, what could you do to bump that number up to 10?
20. Finally, without looking at her, or a picture of her, what color are your wife's eyes?

NOTE: For those guys who are unmarried, you can substitute the word "wife" for the word "girlfriend".

For those of you who are married, your wife is the most important person in your life. She is also your most important asset! Knowing the answers to the above listed questions SHOULD INSPIRE you to do something about them

I hope this thread has encouraged some of you you to raise your level of awareness to those who are most important in your life!

Sincerely,

Roy Harris

[JVC]

Wow, great insight sir. Truly fascinating material.
Thank you for the inspiration and knowledge.

Jon

[Adam LaClair]

Awesome stuff, Mr. Harris. Thank you for sharing!

[SoBe]

Very interessting. I am coming to SanDiego this weekend, and I wish to discusse this topic with you more. I wish to tell you some of the reaschers I am part of. We are doing a study about the role of attention in depresion and anxity. In this case, I have patients with social phobia (it is considered an anxity diagnosis). What we actually do, is train theire "attention flexibilty". My impression is that this is close to your concept of awareness, although you take it farther.

One of the things many depressed and anxious peole do, is to put their focuse "inwared". They focus on bodily sensations and do reversed logic, meaning they interpret others based on their feelings, and don't get feelings based on their interpretation.

and I said all this, just to ask for this (I kind of feel like mr.harris with that sentece )
In being "aware" you seem to focuse more on 2normal" behaviour, rather than a just danger signals.

Pleas keep up the discussion here!

ps.For those of you guys who wish to learn the "attention training", send me a message, or if you are coming to SanDiego this weekend, I will be happy to explain it. I think Mr.Harris also would like it

[seizureboy]

My current level of awareness:

1. Wrong!
2. Wrong!
3. Wrong!

I gave up at that point. I think she is lying to me just so I owe her favors, though . . .

[Harris]

Jon and Adam,

You are welcome!

-------

seizureboy,

Ask your lady those questions. You need to know the answers to those questions (and you need to do something about the info). If your lady asks why you want to know that stuff, tell her how important she is to you. Tell her you'd like to be able to surprise her from time to time with unexpected acts kindness and thoughtfulness.

If she pushes the envelope and asks, "Well how come you weren't interested in this information before?" Tell her, "Because I'm a changed man!"

Roy

[twinkletoes]

Mr. Harris,

Thanks! I will definitely look into some of those resources. I am both happy and sad to read about your journey into awareness...sad to hear it was borne out of bad experiences, but happy to hear that it brought about a wonderful and positive skill for you (and selfishly, it certainly has benefited all of us who know you and train with you!).

~Chris

PS - I read Hope the questions aloud and then tried to answer them and let her score my answers. My accuracy was around 2/3...so I have plenty of room to improve (and certainly, more questions to ask!).

[Harris]

How and where a person chooses to focus his or her attention, over an extended period of time, says a lot about WHO THEY ARE as a person. For example, observe the following, over a period of six months, and you can tell a lot about a person's life:

I. What does a person do with the time they have been given?
II. What activities do they habitually involve themselves in?
III. Where does this person spend their mental and emotional energies?
IV. Where does this person spend their money (and other tangible resources)?
V. What kind of people have they chosen as friends?
VI. How do they treat their chosen friends?
VII. How do they interact with authority figures (parents, employers, police, elders, etc...)?
VIII. How do they treat others who are less skilled, less knowledgeable or less fortunate than themselves?
IX. What does their vehicle, clothes and hygiene say about them?
X. What is their daily/weekly/monthly manner of speech? Complimentary? Positive? Upbeat? Uplifting? Encouraging? Funny? Whiny? Complaining? Negative? Cynical? Full of excuses? Self-absorbed?

The answers to these ten questions demonstrate where a person CHOOSES to spend valuable resources (i.e. mind, heart, time, energy, money, speech, etc...). Read that sentence again! Notice I wrote, "...where a person CHOOSES to spend..." All of the above are CHOICES!

Allow me to make a few important points:

1. Life is but a series of choices. All of these choices have consequences attached to them.

2. You can control your daily choices, but you cannot control the consequences of your choices.

3. Much of what you have in your current life is the result of the choices you have made over the past five to ten years. (Obviously, no one chooses a life threatening illness or disease. So I am not talking about such things.)

By CHOOSING to (a) observe where YOU make choices in your own life (as well as paying attention to the intent of your heart as you make those choice), and (b) by acknowledging the fact that other people are not like you, ONLY THEN can you begin to observe (and possibly understand) where (and sometimes "why") others CHOOSE to spend their valuable resources the way they do!

THESE are your first step to becoming AWARE!!

In short, there are five mountains of awareness to be climbed and conquered. The first two are the most important:

1. Awareness to self - the biggest of all the mountains!
2. Awareness to someone other than yourself - this is a big mountain, but not as big as the first mountain.

You have your mission. I challenge you to begin this day!

Good luck,

Roy Harris

[WarGod]

Mr. Harris,

This is a great resource with regards to awareness here. I've actually begun reading 'Reading People' but haven't delved too far into it yet. Will have to try and see if I can procure those two favorities. I've very much enjoyed the books you've recommended in the past. The Success Principles was a VERY fast read.

As for those ten questions, I think I'm going to try and answer some of those for myself as well. Personally speaking, there's plenty of room for improvement in those areas.

[WarGod]

SoBe!

No idea that you'd be in town this weekend! We'll have to catch up when you get here! Is Per coming with you?

[jkdbynik]

First of all, I'd like to say that in every conversation I have had with Sifu Roy, I always find myself scratching my head and saying "Why didn't I think of that." Then follow it up with..."Man I'm glad we spoke about that." Sifu is always an inspiration. (This topic/thread gave me the same reaction.)

Awareness has so much value in every aspect of our lives, that I wouldn't even begin to try and list them. But here is something I've been doing for the past couple years to help keep "honing" the awareness attribute...

At the end of the day, I list out 3 random moments in my day. I try to list who was there, what was happening, what did I see, what did I hear, what did I smell, is anything out of the ordinary etc. etc.

By doing this, I found myself constantly making general and detailed observations, and then recalling them. At first it seemed stupid to me, but after a week or two I noticed that I picked up on so much more "information" that was all around me. This didn't make me paranoid, because I feel that I acknowledged everything around me...so it can't really surprise me. It also helped me recognize suspicious behavior in people. "Why are they doing what they are doing?" became a common question.

[Harris]

Several years ago, I taught a private lesson to a student of mine. At the end of the lesson, he told me about his "girlfriend" problems. He finished by asking me what I thought he should do about the situation that had occurred. I told him, "I can't tell you what to do because I have only heard HALF of the story. I need to hear your girlfriend's side of the story to share some insight with you."

He affirmed that everything he told HAD happened, and once again, asked me to give him my thoughts on what he should do. Again, I told him I couldn't tell him what to do because I had only heard one side of the story. However, I did tell him the following:

"One thing that IS causing a problem between you and your girl is that she is more in-tune with your world than you are of hers."

He asked, "What do you mean?"

I said, "Let me ask you a few questions: What your girlfriend's favorite color?"

He stood there like a deer in headlights! No response was offered.

I asked him, "What's your girlfriend's favorite flower?"

Again, the deer in headlights look appeared and quietness filled the room.

I continued, "What's your girlfriend's favorite food or drink?"

Again, no response.

I asked, "How long have the two of you been going out?"

He replied, "About two years."

I replied, "You've been going out for two years and you don't know the answers to these questions? C'mon now.....this is relationship 101. I'll bet my entire bank account your girlfriend knows the answers to these questions."

I continued, "Has there ever been a time when you went over to her place for a meal, and right as your sitting down to eat, you notice there is no butter on the table, and just as the words, 'Honey, can you get some bu..' roll off your lips, she is walking back from the kitchen with a stick of butter in her hand?"

He replied, "YES!"

I said, "That's because she is more in-tune with your world than you are with hers. Here is what I recommend you do for the next month or so: Whenever the two of you are together, pay attention to the things she pays attention to. Whatever she looks at, you look at. In 30 days, I believe you will have gained an important education!"

A few months later, he came back for another private lesson. He had good news for me too. He said, "Mr. Harris, I did what you told me. I paid attention to what my girlfriend paid attention to. At first, she wanted to know why I was watching her so intently. When I told her I wanted to learn more about her world, she stopped asking. In the end, I was surprised. I learned a lot by paying attention to what caught her eye."

This good friend of mine learned a valuable lesson that month. I encourage all of you to do the same. Start with someone you care about. Watch their every move. Pay attention to the things they pay attention to. Over time, you will pay attention to the things that others pay attention to without even thinking about it. In time, you will learn to step outside yourself and see things from other people's perspective. You will also learn how narrow minded you used to be - I know, because I have been down this path a few times. I have learned a great deal about myself by watching others!

Food for thought!

Roy Harris

P.S. Later on down the road, I will talk about certain behavioral habits that can indicate the potential for violence or confrontation.

[Harris]

Here are four exercises for those of you wanting to become more aware of people. Take a trip to your local shopping mall. Bring a voice recorder or a pen and paper to record your observations. Spend a minimum of 20 minutes performing each of the following exercises. Are you ready? Here we go:

EXERCISE ONE
Walk up and down the mall. Find a single male, or a group of males, who are sitting around, standing around and just "hanging out". Take a few minutes to find a good observation point. When you have found a good observation point, pay attention to the people and things they pay attention to. Whatever they pay attention to, answer the questions, "Why are they sitting where there are sitting? And why are they watching this thing, person, or group of people?" Make the effort to come up with at least three reasons (from your perspective) why they are sitting where they are sitting, and why they are watching the thing, person, or group of people.

For example, you see a guy sitting outside of Victoria's Secrets. Answer a few simple questions: Why may he be sitting there? Is he waiting for his girlfriend or wife to finish shopping inside the store? Is he waiting for his wife or girlfriend to get off of work? Is he is simply enjoying some eye candy? Is he a pervert? Is he looking for prey? Is he looking to establish eye contact with anyone? Does he look tired or physically challenged and JUST SO HAPPEN to sit down at this location? Does he look nervous? Is he doing anything with his eyes? Where is his chest pointing: At the store or away from the store? Where is his attention focused? What is he doing with his hands? What is he doing with his feet? What is he doing with his mouth and lips? What does his breathing look like? Shallow? Relaxed? Heavy? Anxious? Is he well dressed? The answers to these questions will give you a "gut feeling" as to what he MIGHT be doing there.


EXERCISE TWO
Walk up and down the mall. Find a male or female and observe them for two to five minutes. Then answer the following questions:

How much is the person wearing? $50? $300? $1000? $40,000? (Obviously, I have done this in US currency.....but you can do this in your own currency.)

Observe their shoes, socks, booties, pantyhose, pants, skirt, belt, blouse, shirt, sweater, jacket, watch, brow / nose / lip / ear / neck / forearm / wrist / finger / belly / toe jewelry, eye wear, hair style/cut and anything else of value. Total everything up and see what kind of number you come up with! If you have no idea what something might cost, write a description of what you saw, go home and look it up on google. Use the Google images to help you find what you are looking for.

Here is an example:

I performed a search for Breitling watches on www.google.com. When the search results came in, I click on the link in the upper left hand corner of the page that said "Images." Here were my results:

http://images.google.com/images?sour...-8&sa=N&tab=wi

By the way, Breitling is my favorite kind of watch

Once you have done this with one person, do it again with three or four more people.


EXERCISE THREE
Walk up and down the mall. Find someone your own gender. Follow them as they shop. Surveil them for at least 20 minutes. Feel the surge! Pay attention to what is happening inside your mind and heart.

If you really want to up the ante a little, surveil a security officer for 20 minutes. Pay attention to the things he or she pays attention to.

If you really want to make things fun and interesting, after you have surveilled the security officer for 20 minutes, approach him or her and tell them you have a couple of questions. Tell them, "Did you know I have been watching you for the past 20 minutes?" Regardless of what they do or don't say, watch their reactions.

If you get the courage to do this, I'd love to hear what happened

If you really want to FEEL SOMETHING UNIQUE, do the following:

1. Find a police officer that's taking a break.
2. Sit in your car and watch them.
3. When they get up to leave, follow them.
4. Drive where they drive for the next 10 to 20 minutes.
5. If they end up going to another public location within the time frame that you are watching them, wait for them to get out of their car and begin walking away. Get out of your car and walk right up to them and say, "Good morning officer. How's your day going?" Regardless of what is said, pay attention to (a) what's going on inside of you, and (b) the facial expressions of the police officer.


EXERCISE FOUR
Perform all three of the above exercises with one extra person. Have that person bring a camcorder to every location. Have them film everything you do. When you have completed these exercises, go home and watch yourself observing others. Pay attention to your movements (head, arms and legs) and facial expressions.

Now, some of you may be thinking, "What am I supposed to learn with these exercises?" Well, complete them first AND THEN I will tell you

Should you, or any member of your IM Force, be caught or detained, the government will disavow any knowledge of, connection with, or responsibility.

Good luck!

Roy Harris

[baritus]

Originally Posted by Harris

1. Find a police officer that's taking a break.
2. Sit in your car and watch them.
3. When they get up to leave, follow them.
4. Drive where they drive for the next 10 to 20 minutes.
5. If they end up going to another public location within the time frame that you are watching them, wait for them to get out of their car and begin walking away. Get out of your car and walk right up to them and say, "Good morning officer. How's your day going?" Regardless of what is said, pay attention to (a) what's going on inside of you, and (b) the facial expressions of the police officer.

Someone might see me sitting inside Starbucks all day.


Mike

[Harris]

EXERCISE FIVE
Get a camcorder, a tripod, and ask a friend to help you. This exercise will take about ten minutes of yours and his time.

Write the following questions on a piece of paper. Do not let your friend see these questions:

1. What is your full name (first, middle and last)?
2. What is your date of birth?
3. What is your mother's middle name?
4. What kind of work did / does your father do?
5. Can you tell me a little about your upbringing?
6. What is your telephone number?
7. What is your favorite color?
8. Have you ever lived in another state, or country?
9. Do you have any brothers or sisters? What are their names?
10. What is the name of your favorite restaurant?

Once you get these questions on paper, ask your friend to sit down in a chair that faces the camcorder. Tell him you are going to ask him a few questions. Ask him to lie whenever he feels like it. While you are interviewing him, make sure the camcorder is recording everything he says and does from the waist up.

Here is how your interview should go:

Hey Jim (or whatever your friend's name is). How are you doing today?

Can you do me a favor and answer a few questions? Cool. Thanks!

To start, what is your full name? Can you give me your middle name first, your last name second, and your first name last? (Remember his middle name. Pick a name that is similar and remember it. For example, if he said his middle name was "Andrew", remember both Andrew and Alex. You'll need this later.)

On what day were you born? Not your date of birth, but specifically, what day were you born? Do you know that?

Now, what's your mother's middle name? Why is that name special?

Hmm....that's interesting.

What kind of work did / does your father do?

Can you tell me a little about your upbringing? What street did you live on? What was your neighborhood like? What are your fondest memories of the house you lives in? Etc... (Remember one small detail for later)

Do you know your fax number at work? (Remember this number)

What is was your favorite color in elementary school? What's your favorite color now?

Have you ever lived in another state, or country? When he begins to tell you whatever he is going to tell you, interrupt him and ask him the following question:

I'm sorry, I forgot to write down your middle name. Did you tell me it was Alex? (Pick a name that is CLOSE to what your friend said. Whatever he tells you, argue with him for a couple of seconds that you're sure you heard him say "Alex." When he begins to defend himself, interrupt him again and ask him about a detail in the story he told about his upbringing.)

Do you have any brothers or sisters? If so, what are their names? (As he begins to tell you about them, interrupt him and tell him something about his appearance. Tell him, "Man, those shoes need some shining." Or, Those pants look like they have a razor sharp crease in them." When he begins to engage you in conversation, or you see his mind is active, ask him to repeat his work fax number.)

Tell him, I only have one more question. Are you ready for it? OK. Here goes: What's your favorite restaurant?

When you finish the interview, ask him to tell you the correct answers to all ten questions. Then, review the tape over and over again. Watch for the small signs of deception in the face, sides and top of the head, shoulders, elbows and hands. Watch the tape in slow motion. Watch it a minimum of 40 times.

You will learn a lot about deception by completing this exercise. While your friends' movements and mannerisms will not apply to everyone, they will give you some general guidelines

Next, change roles. Have your friend do the same thing to you. But this time, have him write out an entirely different set of unrelated questions and interruptions.

Enjoy!

Roy Harris